You should never underestimate the power of the mind when you’re seeking to rectify sexual problems.
You see, although most scientists will never admit as much, the fact is that sexual dysfunction resides very much in the mind as well as the body – indeed, there is plenty of evidence to suggest that it’s actually more in the mind than the body.
People won’t be willing, in the main, to admit that they have had sexual experiences which left them with emotional hangovers – what most people would call emotional “baggage” – the cause of sexual dysfunction in adult life.
It is, after all, potentially quite shameful to admit the fact that you are not a good sexual performer, or perhaps, if you’re a woman, that you don’t feel attractive or you can’t reach orgasm.
Certainly for a large number of men, the ability to “perform” well in bed is impaired, and to give a woman an orgasm is absolutely critical to their sexual self-esteem.
Now, as we’ve already seen, delayed ejaculation can affect a man’s self-esteem by rendering him unable to ejaculate at the moment of climax – and indeed, premature ejaculation has a number of factors in common with this (for example, a man may feel shamed and humiliated if he ejaculates too quickly during sexual activity).
Yet when men seek treatment for this sexual dysfunction, they are usually given SSRI antidepressants for premature ejaculation, and very little hope of remedy for delayed ejaculation – the prospect of sexual therapy or psychological therapy is very rarely mentioned, even though this might actually be useful approach for ameliorating the symptoms.
What occurred to me when I was treating men for these conditions over a number of years was the interesting possibility that actually men could work on the problems themselves by using various mental techniques that might allow them to get to grips with the emotional issues without the help of a conventional therapist
After all, seeing a therapist for sexual dysfunction can be highly embarrassing, and it’s not something many men would wish to experience.
That leads me on to a review of the mental and emotional techniques that men could use if they are so inclined
To deal with the issue of sexual dysfunction, you could try:
Cognitive behavioural therapy has a lot to be said for it, because it doesn’t delve deep into the mysteries and psychological wounds of your past, but focuses on the issues which pervade your psyche in the here and now, potentially interfering with your sexual ability.
However, for those brave characters who want to explore their past, and willing to do work on the deep wounds in the psyche, psychodynamic psychotherapy will allow the exploration of historical material, potentially finding out the origin of sexual dysfunction in the present.
Although this can be highly effective therapy, it tends to be expensive, and it tends to be long-lasting unless you adopt a variant of it called Shadow work, which is much more rapid and uses a kind of psychodrama to get to the heart of the issues that may be playing out within your psyche.
So these are formal therapies that you can actually go to a therapist for, but the interesting possibility that remains undiscussed (and usually ignored) in matters like this is that of helping yourself by using some mental visualization, meditation, and reprogramming techniques.
There are many possibilities here including self hypnosis – which offers wide range possibilities, from a huge number of practitioners on the Internet, some of greater and some of lesser value. The way to find out whether or not there is a therapist and practitioner on the Internet who might help you is to browse the Internet and to look at their websites until you find one that “speaks to you” and seems appealing and genuine.
The next approach is to use something like the Lekoe method, which is an online cognitive behavioural therapy counseling service – at least, that’s my interpretation of it as far as I can make out without having joined the service. Another approach, of course, is to buy self-help books and read them – and this can be very effective in providing you with insights into the origin of your condition, although it has to be said that it’s not likely to bring about an amelioration of symptoms any time soon.
Indeed, I suspect that if you counted the number of self-help books left on people’s shelves after purchase, you would be quite startled!
To be honest self hypnosis is one of my favourite techniques for bringing about change in the psyche and rendering a man capable of full sexual performance – but some people are more susceptible to hypnosis than others, and so I’d fully understand if you didn’t feel able to take this up as an option.
So what I’m going to recommend to you is that you read a website on manifestation and the Law of Attraction – and although this may seem like an odd choice, if you read on explain why.
The essence of manifestation and the law of attraction techniques are all about visualization and self belief – and it’s been demonstrated that visualization can be very powerful way to change the reality that you are experiencing world today.
Although classically used for the manifestation of material goods or perhaps relationships, or prosperity or abundance, there’s no reason whatsoever that law of attraction techniques can’t be used to manifest a change in your internal mental state – so much so in fact, that if you go to a website which is reliable and authentic around the possibility of attraction and manifestation, you should find it very easy indeed to adapt the techniques they describe in a way that allows you to achieve normal sexual functioning.
I do have several recommendations, as you probably anticipated from the tone of this post, and you can find in the links in this article.
Mind you, to be fully effective, when you visualize any outcome, whether that be you lasting five minutes during lovemaking or twenty minutes, you must absolutely believe in the possibility of what you’re trying to achieve.
Indeed, as I make clear on my website looking for a magical secret will not help you. And bear in mind, limiting factors come no more powerful than negative beliefs about what is possible – you absolutely have to have a clear intention, total commitment to achieving that outcome, as well as absolute belief that it’s possible for you to achieve it.
But, having said that, you will find if you practice assiduously, you visualize for 15 – 20 minutes twice a day, and perhaps combine this with a self hypnosis tape, that you can transform the nature of your sexual experience in a fairly short period of time – perhaps three months or less.
Now I know this may seem unlikely for many of you who’ve been schooled in a practical and rational way of seeing the world, but the fact of the matter remains that mental techniques like this have been used by cancer patients to cure their disease, they have been used by people with serious mental physical illnesses to achieve complete recovery, and they have been used to bring about astonishing changes in relationships between members of the same family.
At the end of the day, success or failure is only down to your belief – perhaps, some might say, only down to matter of choice: in other words, whether or not you choose to take the idea seriously, and then choose to implement it with a clear intention to transform your sexual performance.
And what’s worthy of note as well, is the fact that these techniques can be used to transform the quality of your relationships, not only of sexual relationships, but your friendships as well.